12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex - by: Margarette
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear ...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: 10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween But Aren't - by: Margarette
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn'...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Halloween Party!!! - by: Margarette
Just in time for Halloween!! :evil:
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to ...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Robbers!!! - by: Margarette
Excerpted from an article which appeared
in The Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the b...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Penis Requests A Salary Raise - by: Margarette
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the argum...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Re:Attention All Men: Be aware of womens terminology! - by: Margarette
the NO SPEAKING one means trouble too :P...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Attention All Men: Be aware of womens terminology! - by: Margarette
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in Fine
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
This is not actually a...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: Pleasing A Woman - by: Margarette
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that's right - women can browse men from floors of choices.
Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes, a nifty setup - with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?
So a young woman goes to the shopp...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: If Men Wrote Cosmopolitan - by: Margarette
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin.Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged.The man ...
12/01/2008 11:42 AM
Subject: More Tom - by: SinSeer
For the record, ICQ Opersators have added an auto-shun filter to anyone who posts the URL to Tom's famous private message , so please be careful sharing the link on the ICQ network.
If I might suggest, will give you a new URL :)...